Scum Bag Scofflaw Dad

Sue, I’d like you to vote after reading this blog entry. Does this guy get the A Hole of the week, the month or the year award?
Madame X’s bf, Mitchell, has one child, a college-age daughter. Though a certified financial planner by trade, he supposedly has no money, having somehow conveniently reduced his client roster from over 120 to 3, just in time for his divorce. Of course, he can’t be expected to pay any alimony or child support with this successful implementation of RAIDS (Recently Acquired Income Deficiency Syndrome). He drives around in a 2008 Lexus SUV. X drives a top of the line Mercedes and each of her kids has a new BMW, purchased for them by her most recent former husband-- who is coincidentally not their father. Mitchell’s soon-to-be-ex drives a Honda. And Mitchell’s only daughter was, until yesterday, driving a rusted-out 1989 jeep with no airbags. When his ex said she didn’t think the jeep was safe, Mitchell’s attorney accused her of trying to dupe poor Mitchell into paying for an unnecessary new vehicle for the daughter.
Well, the daughter packed up her jeep with all of her belongings for college, kissed her mom goodbye and made her way to Mitchell’s apartment as it was his turn to drive with her to school. Halfway there, the jeep began to emit heavy smoke and burst into flames. Luckily she wasn’t in a middle lane on some highway. She immediately pulled over and evacuated. Realizing that everything she needed for her life was in that car, she started to re-enter the jeep to at least salvage her purse,which contained her entire summer's earnings from the two jobs she held down. Bystanders began screaming at her to back off. She did, and the car momentarily exploded. She lost everything. She called Mitchell.He picked her up and brought her back to his apartment. He left her there alone in hysterics with singed eyebrows and a soot-stained face while he returned to X’s house to continue partying there with X and Mitchell’s sister, brother in law and nephew.
Being such a a stand up kind of guy, Mitchell drove his daughter to school the next day, sprang for a new ipod,one pair of jeans, flip flops and a couple of t shirts. He told her that her mother should“fill in” with the rest.
So never mind our thinking X should rot in hell, what’s the verdict on this scum bag?

I have thongs in every color of the rainbow, and they lie unworn in the back of my lingerie drawer. When I first got separated, my daughter ordered an assortment for me in hopes that they'd cheer me up and help me feel good about myself. Which they did. But no matter how often I wore them, I never got used to that skimpy, half-inch strip of nylon between me and my jeans. Call me old-fashioned, but I am infinitely more comfortable in a pair of 100 percent cotton Petite Bateau bikini panties, and I think they're sexy too. The other problem with thongs is that unless my stomach is totally flat -- a rare occurrence -- I don't think they're flattering on me. They seem to emphasize the bulge. But your blog serves as a reminder to trot them out every now and then for the guy I'm dating.

Re the Brazilian wax, my dermatologist commented that pubic hair is now the most common form of laser hair removal in her practice, and to my knowledge, that's even more painful than waxing.

Please share your bf's opinion on shaved vs natural pubic hair, and on thongs vs bikini's.

Thongs a Lot

You’ve confirmed my suspicion that Brazilian waxing is way up there on the pain and suffering scale. I hear it's ditto for implants. But each person has her own tolerance level. I have a girlfriend who bought a gorgeous, super pricey pair of Armani fitted white linen trousers on her last trip to Milan and she never wore them because her underpants line was so obvious. I talked her into trying---gasp! Really???!---a white thong, which is the most practical solution. Obviously. She wore it and was beside herself in discomfort during a three-and-a-half-hour opera, and all she could think about during the entire performance was how she was going to freak out at me for torturing her!
But, her husband went crazy when he saw the thong later that night and they had great sex twice before going to sleep and again in the morning! Needless to say, she now has a wardrobe of thongs--- lace, leopard, pink, red, you name it.

No Brazilian for me, thank you

X should at least donate her brain to science; it would be fascinating to find out what makes that monster tick.

I have to digress. I've been seeing a lovely guy, and my sister suggested it was high time I shave my pubic hair. She insisted that it's much sexier and that "no man wants a face-full of pubic hair." Though nervous about using a blade "down there," I bought a sharp new razor and fancy shaving cream and complied with her instructions. Presto -- I was hairless -- and the guy didn't even notice! This might be because he has a full beard and mustache so he doesn't feel the difference. (Plus he removes his glasses so vision is impaired.) In any event, I asked him and he admitted that my new haircut hadn't so much as registered, no less impressed.

I've since discovered that between shaves, the area itches terribly when I take walks, which means this new grooming practice is ruining a favorite, daily, hour-long activity. I tried talcum powder to prevent the itching, then read that doing so leads to ovarian cancer (true). Given that there's no gain and only pain in my case, I've decided to let things grow and dust with cornstarch in the interim. Thus ends my brief flirtation with modern grooming.

Reach for the RAID

Between, Pig—oops, I mean Peg, Madame X and your so-called friend, the relationship trasher, we’ve uncovered a viper’s nest of poisonous women out for blood, and in X’s case, out for money, too.
In X’s most recent divorce, a savvy female Boston lawyer represented X’s hubby, the shoe guy. X used the same male attorney she always uses. He must be on a permanent retainer, and why not? Her marital trail is an annuity for him. X confided to her spinning class instructor(who later spread the word) that she doesn’t trust women and could never hire one as her lawyer and that all her closest friends are guys.
Shoe guy’s savvy (and, parenthetically, quite attractive) lawyer deposed X during the proceedings, leading X to melt down and shriek out in the deposition room, “You hate me don’t you? Just because I’m pretty.”
One would think this might have harmed her case. That and the fact that she’s a serial divorcee and home- wrecker. Perhaps she learned her trade from her daddy, who until he went bankrupt and snuck away from his store, rent unpaid, in the middle of the night, was known as “The Mattress Man.”
But X left her rather short-term marriage to shoe guy in sole possession of her $2M dream house with a walk in closet the size of most master bedrooms. One custom feature: special teeny tiny shoe racks to accommodate her collection of over 300 pairs of shoes size 4.5. A second feature: midget bathroom sink and vanity mirror which gives normal people, even short normal people, a look at their belly button.
A couple of weeks ago, when X was deposed in her boyfriend’s messy divorce where she plays a central role, the wife’s attorney caught X in a tangled lie. At the end of the questioning, the attorney asked X if she’d like to review her testimony and change anything.
Her reply as she declined the offer to de-perjure herself: “Honey, I’ve been around this block before”.
One naturally would like these kind of people to rot in hell as you said, but usually they just keep on steam rolling through other people’s lives wreaking havoc. The only justice I can envision is if X were to dump the bf over money and find another guy who is rich and 7’4” and he accidentally steps on her, squashing her to death like a cockroach. Couldn’t happen to a nicer insect!

"Sisterhood" can be toxic

I cannot understand X's appeal nor her success with men. But she sounds like she's fiercely competitive with other women. She deliberately marked her lover's home with her "scent" (bra, tampons) to send his wife a message. It galls me that people like her trample on others and get away with it. I hope this dope she's seeing turns out to be bankrupt and that they make each other miserable.

A few years ago I had a friend -- a good friend, I thought -- who was divorced like me. She always spoke as if she was a feminist. Ha! I told her all about a guy I was dating from match.com whom I was crazy about. Every time she and I got together, we confided about our sex and social lives, and I updated her about my goings-on with this guy. She listened and voiced empathy. Oddly, I thought, she invited me to a concert and refused to let me pay her for my ticket, and she had me over to dinner. Shortly after that, the guy broke up with me. I don't want to bore you with the details, but suffice it to say that I learned she had been seeing him behind my back for weeks, during the time that I was confiding to her about him. When I confronted her with my suspicions, she self-righteously confessed and went on the attack, screaming and yelling like a madwoman. I hope she rots in hell along with X.

Looking back, I now see that it's her pattern to appropriate other women's men. I recall her telling me about a guy she'd had a year-long relationship with. Eventually she broke it off, and he was heartbroken. Six months later he had a new girlfriend, and she learned that the two of them were planning to spend a few weeks on Nantucket that summer, an island that she frequented in the summer as well. She was furious and told him he couldn't step foot on "her" island with his girlfriend. Then, to make sure that wouldn't happen, she seduced him, claiming she missed him and wanted to try again. Suddenly he was irresistible! She slept with him a few times -- enough to destroy his new relationship -- and dumped him.

Midget Steals Husbands as Hobby

Peg might sound like a pig, but what sort of creature does that make X?
I can’t mention her name or even give her a pseudonym because she’s at the center of an active divorce case- not her own. X is so interested in hunting down and ensnaring other women’s husbands that it’s a compulsion. Not that these fellows are innocent game--they certainly enjoy her attention and a fair number of them have even married X!
X was first married to her college sweetheart, a lawyer, for seven years. They had two daughters and the lawyer thought they were a happy couple. His only complaint was that she spent a huge amount of money on clothes, shoes, spas and keeping her hair the perfect shade of blonde. Happy or not, X had her sights set on her husband’s college roommate. Madly in love with X, the roommate left his wife for X as if she were some sort of siren.
At the last minute, after carefully doing her math, X’s passion died and she remained with her husband. Temporarily. Meanwhile, the roommate’s wife was too distraught to take him back and that marriage was toast.
Onward and upward. Undaunted, X then went after the scion of a footwear empire whose wife happened to be in a coma. This time when she did the math, she was ready to walk down the aisle. Shoe guy demanded a prenup but she called his bluff, tearful that he could be so distrustful. He fell for the performance, married her and now 12 years later, she left him for a neighbor. X and the neighbor carried on their affair in his home while his wife was visiting her dying mother. X left evidence all over the neighbors' home—oops-- a lipstick smear on the phone receiver, tampons in the bathroom trash basket, long blonde hairs on the couch, and the kicker-- a black lace bra under the mattress. The inevitable happened, and now the neighbors are divorcing. X and the neighbor guy are currently planning a destination wedding in Aruba and can’t understand why their kids aren’t excited about all going to the Caribbean together as soon as both divorces are final.

The only satisfaction the neighbor’s wife has is that she knows that X thrives on the excitement of going after other women’s husbands-- and will undoubtedly embark on her next safari in a couple of years.

To top it all off, this femme fatale, X, is a certified midget at 4'10"' in heels. Go figure!