Friday, July 18, 2008

Mama's Boy or Mensch: A Fine Line

If you go online and google anything along the lines of traits to look for in a spouse, invariably a long list of Islamic sites pops up --all stressing the importance of issues of faith. Religious people certainly have a lot to say about the subject.

Sue, the priest you quoted brought up some good points, and actually all of them are inter-personal and have no religious overtones. I think his point #5 is one of the most salient. He asks: Is he overly attached to his mother or her mythical apron strings?
That’s can be a deal breaker for sure, and one that often doesn’t rear its head for years, especially since young or immature men often rail about their mothers and call them only infrequently in an attempt to establish independence.

Later on though, if things aren’t going right, they want Mommy back. How many women, once their marriages are dissolving into divorce, hear a litany of complaints from their departing spouses including accusations such as “ You didn’t invite my mother to join us on the family vacation” or “ Your matzo balls aren’t as fluffy as my mother’s—why did you always refuse to let her show you how to cook?”

I’d advise any woman I know that it’s really important that a man is caring and respectful toward his mother. If he can’t treat her right, there’s no chance he’ll be able to be respectful or understanding toward his girlfriend or wife. If he doesn’t properly acknowledge his mom on Mother’s Day or her birthday, watch out! On the other hand, if he wants to include her and her advice in your relationship, bail out!

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