Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Post Divorce: He’s At It Again

Three and a half months since the divorce was final, Mitchell, that never-ending source of wacked out behavior, decided to file yet another complaint against April, his ex.

This makes 5 complaints he has filed in the 97 days since their marriage was officially over. Which, if you know Mitchell, really isn’t a lot considering that during the 20 year marriage he began each day by complaining that April bought the wrong soap for the shower, or that the coffee was regular when she should know that he really wanted hazelnut. Or that April had parked in the side of the garage he preferred. He ended each day complaining that the sheets didn’t smell the same as his mother’s fabric softener, that he resented April for “forcing” him to go to Parents Night at the high school, or that she knew he wanted steak for dinner every night so why did she insist on cooking fish and chicken just because his doctor said he was at risk for a heart attack?

The most recent complaint? Foosball. He wanted his Foosball game back. Well, yes, they bought it for their daughter, and no, it was never technically his, but now he wants it. And, yes, he agrees it was not on the comprehensive list of 437 items he wanted--and took--from the house already--including but not limited to the computer his daughter had been using to do her homework, and all of the lawn furniture, despite the fact that he had moved into a fourteenth floor condo.

April was taken aback that Mitchell wanted to waste yet another day with a court mediator and a judge over Foosball of all things. She would have gladly given it to him except that their daughter made her promise not to give away one more item from their now almost-bare house.

After four hours in a court mediation room, April asked Mitchell “How do you have time for this? Don’t you have a full time job?”

“This is my full time job,” he shot back.

Enraged that April was not found in contempt of court over the Foosball game, Mitchell shouted his mantra: “ There is no justice!” and stormed out of the courthouse. He then screeched off in the brand new Lexus LX10 his girlfriend bought him for his 50th birthday. She'll learn.


bassman40 said...

Any divorcees that are looking for a new partner or friends should try it's certainly helped me get over my messy divorce.

MellieLou said...

Hey ladies!
I am currently reading your book, Still Hot... I love it! It definitely brings a lot of humor to the experiences that I went through. Once so traumatizing, they are now starting to bring me laughs...

I just wanted to share how much I love your book. I am also in the beginning stages of developing a website for young divorcees and would love it if I could contact you about advertising your book on my page (I'm not looking for money, just permission). Please send me an email with your contact info if possible! Thanks!

Melissa Loren

MellieLou said...


marshall said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
marshall said...

ohh, my god, I think April took a good desition when she decided to divorce. She was very patient and all the she did was for her husband. I think she is more valuable than him.
morning sex tips.

Mia Carmel West said...

It's hard to take men like Mitchell seriously in life, but the fact of the matter is that he's a real person and that these instances actually happen. Therefore, it is best to take the high road and just take it with a grain of salt, since the women is no longer married to this idiot.

For more divorce advice for women, click on the link.