Monday, June 16, 2008

Taking the high road

Sue: Linda, there was something else going on with that guy, though we'll never know what (and do we really care?). One possibility is that he went on the date reluctantly, as a courtesy to the friend who arranged the fix-up. I had a blind date with a guy who did just that. The next day he emailed me to explain that he was seeing someone and it was getting serious (unbeknownst to the friend who had arranged the fix-up).

Which brings me to another post-divorce discovery: men don't like being fixed up. Guys tell me that they don't want to be held accountable to the matchmaker afterward ("So how did it go?" When are you going to call her again?"). They prefer to work anonymously and to check out pictures first; hence they flock to internet dating sites.

Speaking of which, I have been railing for months about the many guys online who specify that they must date women younger than themselves. I recently came across the profile of a 66-year-old guy who was looking for women between 50 and 60. I emailed him and asked why men don't like to date women their own age. He replied that he could explain that phenomenon for other men, but "obviously that's not the case with me." The jerk didn't even know what he'd written on his own profile.

Pray tell, I said. He explained that men don't want a woman who is an intellectual equal, or they need to feel younger by dating a younger woman. Just the setup I was hoping for. I then asked, "So which of those reasons applies to you?" Needless to say, he went ballistic, accusing me of man-anger and claiming that J-Date had "reset" that particular line in his profile. Riiiiiight. I'm proud to report that I chose the high road in that (one) instance by not prolonging the virtual spat that I had deliberately provoked with a hapless stranger. Bravo!

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