Friday, September 12, 2008

Is Your New BFF Really Your Frenemy?

Remember when Hillary was in the presidential race? Her girlfriends were here,there and everywhere with testimonials about what a solid, reliable, giving friend and mother she is. Have you noticed that not one Sarah Palin girlfriend has surfaced? No woman who knows her well, other than her sister, has said anything positive about her character. Uh-oh. We know what that means. She’s probably a frenemy type.
Here’s a frenemy story straight from my office. A few years ago, Marisol worked with us. She was smart, attractive and tough. She came from Puerto Rico with her two kids and raised them as a single mom while also caring for her mentally ill, verbally abusive mother. We all admired her fortitude.
Jacki sat in the next cubicle. Originally from London, she too was an immigrant far from her extended family and raising a child alone. They quickly became close friends. Jacki often cooked for Marisol and her kids and treated them all as family.
Back in London, Jacki had been in love with Walter. They had lasted as a couple several years after her move to New York, but over the years, distance faded the relationship into more of a friendship than a romance. Walter continued to visit Jacki two or three times a year and she often would throw a party during his stay. At one of these parties, Marisol and Walter spent the entire evening in deep conversation with each other. Walter returned to England and Jacki and he continued as always to e mail frequently. A month later, Jacki noticed a photo of Walter on Marisol's bulletin board. In tears, Jacki confronted Marisol who replied that she and Walter were in love and that Jacki had no right to care since she and Walter had broken up years before.
Rule #1 in girlfriend etiquette is never,ever go out with your bff’s ex. Ever. Who doesn’t know that?!

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