Linda: Sue, so glad to know he isn’t Quasimodo or an ax murderer. And on top of that, he’s intelligent and nice. Your radar is working well. On the other hand, we know for sure that history does repeat itself and if you’re looking for an eventual commitment, you seem pretty clear that this isn’t the guy. If you bring up the friend activity partner option, he’ll most likely demur. By this age, most of us already have enough friends. And men seem to want at least the potential for romance as part of the initial picture. He may agree to be your pal if that includes sex or--who knows??-- he may be patient and just wait it out figuring you’ll fall for him. My friend Mitzi started out being coffee buddies with a guy she met in singles group and slowly over time, they’ve formed a really nice bond which lies somewhere between romance and friendship.
But back to your date trashing his ex-wife-- that’s bad news. No woman wants to hear that. It just reminds us that our exes could be out there badmouthing us to anyone who will listen and that thought makes us cringe!
I’m proud of you -- you mustered the courage to jump back into that dating pool. God knows it’s not easy, but at least it was pleasant. Onward and upward! Or maybe it's more like Tally-Ho!