I went for my annual checkup the other day and gave my doctor a copy of Still Hot hoping she’d display it in her waiting room. Instead, she popped it into her briefcase and said it’ll be her commute reading.
Before she stowed it away, she glanced at the cover and sighed, “It’s true.”
“What’s true”? I asked.
She said, “Some men, maybe most men are like that”.
“Like what”? I asked. I mean, she’d only glanced at the front and back covers.
“I understand your daughter has a baby sister,” she said. (She’s my daughter’s physician as well.)
The Doctor’s Diagnosis:
When men reach a certain age or “developmental stage”, many of them can’t face the changes that are coming. They’re stuck and can only move backwards. She sees it as a matter of flexibility--they’re rigid and can’t give up the roles they’ve known. Facing an empty nest strikes fear in the heart of all mothers, but women forge on because we’re all used to having to bend, be flexible, roll with the punches. Men are also fearful of the kids growing up, of aging, of losing their identity roles, so many of them revert by taking on young wives and reliving the past rather than exploring what the next stages of life will be about.
The Doctor’s RX : live your own life, don’t live through your husband’s accomplishments, have work which gives you pleasure, enjoy your children, and hope you’ve chosen a guy who can step up to the plate and face the passing of time with grace.