Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Midget Steals Husbands as Hobby

Peg might sound like a pig, but what sort of creature does that make X?
I can’t mention her name or even give her a pseudonym because she’s at the center of an active divorce case- not her own. X is so interested in hunting down and ensnaring other women’s husbands that it’s a compulsion. Not that these fellows are innocent game--they certainly enjoy her attention and a fair number of them have even married X!
X was first married to her college sweetheart, a lawyer, for seven years. They had two daughters and the lawyer thought they were a happy couple. His only complaint was that she spent a huge amount of money on clothes, shoes, spas and keeping her hair the perfect shade of blonde. Happy or not, X had her sights set on her husband’s college roommate. Madly in love with X, the roommate left his wife for X as if she were some sort of siren.
At the last minute, after carefully doing her math, X’s passion died and she remained with her husband. Temporarily. Meanwhile, the roommate’s wife was too distraught to take him back and that marriage was toast.
Onward and upward. Undaunted, X then went after the scion of a footwear empire whose wife happened to be in a coma. This time when she did the math, she was ready to walk down the aisle. Shoe guy demanded a prenup but she called his bluff, tearful that he could be so distrustful. He fell for the performance, married her and now 12 years later, she left him for a neighbor. X and the neighbor carried on their affair in his home while his wife was visiting her dying mother. X left evidence all over the neighbors' home—oops-- a lipstick smear on the phone receiver, tampons in the bathroom trash basket, long blonde hairs on the couch, and the kicker-- a black lace bra under the mattress. The inevitable happened, and now the neighbors are divorcing. X and the neighbor guy are currently planning a destination wedding in Aruba and can’t understand why their kids aren’t excited about all going to the Caribbean together as soon as both divorces are final.

The only satisfaction the neighbor’s wife has is that she knows that X thrives on the excitement of going after other women’s husbands-- and will undoubtedly embark on her next safari in a couple of years.

To top it all off, this femme fatale, X, is a certified midget at 4'10"' in heels. Go figure!

No comments: